Lucifer Everylove Declares Victory in His Heart, Regardless of Election Results, With Mariah Carey on Full Blast

In an emotional and undoubtedly unprecedented address to his supporters, Lucifer Everylove, the maverick independent presidential candidate known for his campaign slogan “Love, Peace, and a Little Chaos,” took the stage to acknowledge what might be the greatest battle of his life: running for President of the United States. Or, as he prefers to call it,…